My Friend Dahmer (2017) Movie Review

February 22, 2018 Steve Baqqi

Jeffrey Dahmer was an infamous serial killer who murdered at least seventeen men between 1978 and 1991. This morbid fact isn’t a very fun review opening, sure, but this isn’t a very pleasant movie. Written and directed by Marc Meyers, the film is based on a graphic novel of the same name by famed cartoonist, John Backderf. Backderf went to high school with Dahmer, and befriended him shortly before their graduation; incidentally, right before Dahmer started killing. The filmmakers do not flinch while showing Dahmer’s fatalistic descent. His behavior escalates from picking up roadkill, to killing and mutilating animals, fantasizing about murder and necrophilia, and lastly his first murder. My Friend Dahmer seeks to humanize and understand its notorious title character, while never condoning his actions.

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The Ritual (2017) Movie Review

February 20, 2018 Steve Baqqi

The Ritual is a horror film (and another Netflix exclusive) based on the book of the same name by Adam Nevill. The Ritual tells the story of four friends who, after a traumatic incident, decide to traverse an isolated Swedish hiking trail for their annual friendship vacation. Things go predictably awry when they decide to take a shortcut back to their lodge through a creepy forest and inadvertently become the prey of a mysterious creature.

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The Cloverfield Paradox (2018) Movie Review

February 18, 2018 Steve Baqqi

The Cloverfield Paradox has been absolutely savaged by critics. As of this publication, the film currently has a 17% rating on rotten tomatoes. Like 10 Cloverfield Lane (which I loved), The Cloverfield Paradox was originally a separate, completely unrelated project, before J.J. Abrams and his production team worked it into the Cloverfield universe. The Cloverfield Paradox, originally under a script titled The God Particle, had a long production history and heavy post-production editing, resulting in a ballooned budget. Paramount Pictures had so little faith in the film it struck a deal with Netflix and used a clever and genuinely surprising Super Bowl spot to advertise the film. If you’re looking for another excoriation of The Cloverfield Paradox stop now. Sorry to disappoint you, but I actually liked this movie.

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47 Meters Down (2017) Movie Review

February 5, 2018 Steve Baqqi

I'd Rather Be Trapped 47 Meters Below The Surface Of The Ocean Than Watch This Dreck Again.

47 Meters Down follows two sisters who, while vacationing in Mexico, decide to embark on an ill-advised and dangerous shark dive that predictably ends in disaster. The sisters are stranded 47 meters below the ocean surface, running out of air, and surrounded by sharks. Reading that description, you may find yourself thinking, “that sounds interesting and exciting,” and you’d be right. That idea is interesting but its the movie’s execution of this idea that is just horrible. 47 Meters Down fails in just about every way a killer shark horror/thriller can fail.
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The Breadwinner (2017) Movie Review

January 29, 2018 Steve Baqqi

I had never heard of, nor even seen, a trailer for The Breadwinner before I went to see the movie. I happened to be walking by the small independent theater near my apartment, saw a poster for the film, and decided to watch it. Going in blind, I didn’t realize until after the screening that The Breadwinner is based on the bestselling book of the same name by Deborah Ellis. The Breadwinner was adapted by the Irish studio, Cartoon Saloon, which also made The Secret of Kells and Song of the Sea. The film’s plot revolves around a family struggling under the heel of Taliban rule in Afghanistan. The family’s youngest daughter, Parvana, is forced to traverse the streets of Kabul, disguised as a boy or bacha posh (literally translated “dressed up as a boy”), to earn money for their survival after their father, Nurullah, their sole provider, is taken prisoner.

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Sausage Party (2016) Movie Review

January 22, 2018 Steve Baqqi

What is a sausage party? Well, I’m way more partial to the slang term, sausage fest, but this Slate article will break it down for you (Kelly). You could either be talking about an actual social gathering where people are celebrating, cooking, sharing, and eating sausages like a barbeque, or you could be referring to a party or event in which the amount of males grossly outnumbers the females attendance (Kelly). With this in mind, Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg have co-opted the term for their super R-Rated CGI animated comedy, Sausage Party. Sausage Party is as funny as it is obscenely debased, absurd, and wildly inappropriate. The film has an excellent ninety-minute runtime and even tries to deliver commentary on religion, sex, and acceptance in a cruel, intolerant, and harsh world.

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Ferdinand (2017) Movie Review

January 18, 2018 Steve Baqqi

Ferdinand had the misfortune of having a premiere date sandwiched right between two House of Mouse Behemoths, Coco, and The Last Jedi. It is, however, the former film that Ferdinand will probably be compared to, given that Coco was a brilliant re-imagination of Mexican culture with nuisance, humor, sadness, and depth. Comparing Ferdinand to Coco is almost unfair, as Ferdinand is almost everything that Coco is not. Ferdinand doesn’t even attempt to explore Spanish culture or bullfighting, other than some face value for humor or to service the plot. Ferdinand is a simplistic, but well-crafted animated film about a bull who doesn't want to fight.

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Pete's Dragon (2016) Movie Review

January 16, 2018 Steve Baqqi

Pete’s Dragon (2016) is a remake of a 1977 film of the same name. The film updates the story, having it take place in the Pacific Northwest instead of in New England like the original, while also moving the date from the turn of the 20th century to 1977. For full disclosure, I’ve never seen the original so I can’t comment on the differences between the two films. Pete (Oakes Fegley), the titular boy, survives a car crash deep in the forest and lives with a dragon for six years before he’s discovered by Park Ranger Grace Meachum (Bryce Dallas Howard). Pete’s Dragon is a safe, rather uninteresting movie about a lost boy and the dragon who finds and befriends him as well as the people who try, and ultimately succeed, in separating them.

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Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) Movie Review

January 14, 2018 Steve Baqqi

“If we as an industry feel we must be shackled to franchises for name recognition sales, this seems like a good way for the creative to beat the system; just make something cool and randomly slap a franchise name onto it.”-Ben 'Yahtzee' Croshaw

Croshaw was referring to the video game industry, but this quote could just as easily apply to the film industry, and especially to the new Jumanji film, Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle. The new Jumanji is a total reboot in all but name. This movie could have easily been an unrelated, stand-alone film, and for the most part, functions that way aside from the iconography of the Jumanji universe and a few references and homages to the previous film (especially that of Robin William’s character, Alan Parrish). As it stands, however, Welcome to the Jungle is a humorous, big-budget adventure film with a light-hearted tone that stands in stark contrast to the original.

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Sully (2016) Movie Review

January 12, 2018 Steve Baqqi

Do you remember “The Miracle on The Hudson”? In case you don’t, on January 15, 2009, U.S. Airways Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia Airport with 155 souls on board headed to Charlotte, North Carolina. The plane made fateful contact with a flock of geese, which resulted in catastrophic engine failure. Captain Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger III and First Officer Jeffrey Skiles managed to land the plane on the Hudson River with zero loss of life. The landing was described by the National Transportation and Safety Board (NTSB) as one of “the most successful ditchings in aviation history,” (Olshan). Captain Sully and First Officer Skiles were hailed as heroes. Sully seeks to undermine this perfect, uplifting story by undermining and demonizing the NTSB, turning them into cartoonish antagonists for the sake of dramatic tension, while also offering a window into the lives of the two pilots during the stressful period after the crash.

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Lady Bird (2017) Movie Review

January 9, 2018 Steve Baqqi

Did you know that there isn’t an audio clip of Hank Hill saying “Laaady Biiiiird” on Youtube? That’s an odd start to a review, I know, but its criminal that this beloved and iconic phrasing couldn’t be shared, even as a mediocre joke. I digress. Have you heard of Lady Bird? The film lit blogs and news outlets aflame with its perfect Rotten Tomatoes score through almost 170 reviews. I asked several friends if they had ever heard of the movie. Some had, but mistakenly thought it was about Claudia Alta “Lady Bird” Johnson (whom Hank Hill’s beloved bloodhound was named for). Others had not (the titular character is not, in fact, named in honor of Johnson). But I tell you what (see what I did there?), Lady Bird is a powerful, deeply emotional, and painfully realistic coming-of-age film about an adolescent’s journey through high school, a touching love letter to the city of Sacramento, California, and most prominently, the complicated relationship between mothers and daughters. The movie is nothing short of a stunning triumph.

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Kong: Skull Island (2017) Movie Review

January 3, 2018 Steve Baqqi

I went into Kong: Skull Island completely blind. I had no idea that this movie was in anyway connected to Legendary Pictures’ “Monsterverse”, or the recent Godzilla (2014), nor did I realize such a shared universe even existed before watching this movie. Kong: Skull Island is leaps and bounds ahead of the 2014 Godzilla movie. The film differentiates itself by having relatable characters, an A-List cast, and suitably epic monster battles while also having its titular Monster show up for more than ten minutes of the movie. While I was surprised at how much I liked Kong: Skull Island, the film is not without its flaws, namely a lack of character development and an overabundance of characters and subplots.

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Kevin Hart: What Now? (2016) Movie Review

December 26, 2017 Steve Baqqi

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Kevin Hart’s Kevin Hart: What Now? by Kevin Hart is a comedy special masquerading as a full-length feature film. For the record, I’m not a fan of Kevin Hart and his usual schtick. So why did I go see this movie? Well, there's always the chance that Kevin Hart will be as funny as everyone seems to think he is. Also, Kevin Hart: What Now? is yet another opportunity for Hart to reach out to a massive audience and win new fans like me. He didn’t. Finally, it’s my job. Kevin Hart: What Now? is more of the same. If you like Kevin Hart, you’ll like this.

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Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri (2017) Movie Review

December 21, 2017 Steve Baqqi

I was initially hesitant about all the positive buzz around this film because while I liked In Bruges, from writer/director Martin McDonagh, I thought his last outing, Seven Psychopaths, was a masturbatory, meta-pretentious mess. Thankfully, McDonagh has written and directed one of the best films of the year in Three Billboards outside Ebbing, Missouri. The film is a sweeping southern story about a woman named Mildred Hayes (Francis McDormand) who buys three billboards outside the eponymous town to shame the police, specifically its chief (Woody Harrelson), into solving her daughter's gruesome murder, which has since turned into a cold case. Hayes takes the police and town to task while they attempt to get her to remove the billboards through both legal and extralegal means.

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Just Getting Started (2017) Movie Review

December 19, 2017 Steve Baqqi

...and you'll be wishing it would just be over.

There’s a genre of film that I’d like to christen the “senior comedy.” Films like The Bucket List, Going in Style, and Dirty Grandpa are examples of this niche that caters heavily to the Baby Boomer dollar. These films are often defined by their willingness to embrace taboos about sex, violence, or just give license to act like a juvenile idiot-which is just fine, if done right. Just Getting Started is just another in the long line of such “senior comedies,” but done wrong. What’s more, Just Getting Started is simply the latest cynical Christmas cash grab, released solely to squeeze profits out of the holiday season.

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Logan (2017) Movie Review

December 16, 2017 Steve Baqqi

After the success of Deadpool, Fox Studios suddenly got the nerve to allow the superheroes in its stable to be placed in R-rated films. Wolverine was the next logical choice. Despite some hit or miss sequels and reboots, terrible prequels, and one decent stand-alone film, the X-Men film franchise, and Wolverine, in particular, have always been bankable. Always repressing unfathomable rage, a living weapon with unbreakable razor claws protruding from his fists, Wolverine is tailor-made for a violent R-rated action romp. James Mangold directed the last successful standalone Wolverine film, aptly titled The Wolverine, and was given the creative reins for what could be Hugh Jackman’s final portrayal. Hugh Jackman has been faithfully reprising his role as Wolverine for seventeen years now and was ready to call it quits. Fan favorite, Patrick Stewart, was also brought back to play Professor X and the film is all the better for it. The result? A somber, neo-noir western that works as a perfect sendoff for both Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, and their respective characters. Logan skillfully integrates visceral action with gut-wrenching emotionality and bleak fatalism.

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Murder on the Orient Express (2017) Movie Review

December 12, 2017 Steve Baqqi

I have never read a single Agatha Christie book, nor could I recall having I seen a single movie or T.V. show based on her work until I started doing supplementary research on this movie (call me unenlightened). This is a shocking statement, I know, but it gave me the advantage of reviewing this film tabula rasa, unencumbered by preconceived notions or expectations from the books or previous adaptations. My resulting enlightenment resonated with the sentiment, “Meh…not bad.” The story follows one Hercule Poirot, a world-famous detective who is well into his career and now looking for some rest and relaxation. Despite Poirot’s best efforts, he becomes embroiled in perhaps his most difficult case yet, confined to the snowbound Orient Express.

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Coco (2017) Movie Review

December 9, 2017 Steve Baqqi

Since Disney purchased Pixar in 2006, Pixar films have played it safe by focusing on sequels rather than creating original stories. Remember, the films Ratatouille, Wall-E, and Up were in development before Pixar’s acquisition. This is not to say that there haven’t been excellent, original Pixar stories like Inside Out, but otherwise, Pixar’s filmography has been filled with sequels and average original stories like The Good Dinosaur. Famed animator and one of Pixar’s decorated leaders, John Lasseter, took a recent six-month leave of absence due to sexual assault accusations. Some Mexican people were upset that Disney had tried to trademark their revered cultural holiday Dia de Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), in order to sell merchandise and others still were upset that the film seemed to rip off The Book of Life. The stage was set for Coco to fail spectacularly, but the film succeeds with its vibrant visuals, strong emotional core, and fantastical adventure to the Land of the Dead.

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Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Movie Review

December 7, 2017 Steve Baqqi

The original Thor was a decent movie that was personally annoying to me for its overuse of dutch angles. Its sequel, Thor: The Dark World, was legitimately terrible; an idiotic movie with a boring villain that is better off left to the dustbin. Thus, the timing was perfect for a different take on the Thor series, and Marvel hit this one out of the park. Thor: Ragnarok is an irreverent superhero adventure comedy that manages to tell a cohesive story despite a never-ending cavalcade of jokes.

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Daddy's Home 2 (2017) Movie Review

November 30, 2017 Steve Baqqi

After seeing A Bad Moms Christmas, I didn’t think that a bad, lazy, blatant money grab movie could get any worse, or more obvious, for that matter. My God, was I wrong. Daddy’s Home 2 is somehow even worse than A Bad Moms Christmas. Using the same stale and wholly generic formula of the Christmas themed sequel, Daddy’s Home 2: The Christmas Special is a cynical attempt to part you from your money under the guise of holiday cheer. Returning leads Marky Mark and Will Ferrell are back but this time their dads (Mel Gibson and John Lithgow) are coming too!

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